How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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