He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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