I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
