i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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