Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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