You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
