Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
