Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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