Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Sorry my hands just texted you
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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