listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
