We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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