Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
