Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
