everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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