Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
