And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
