this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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