I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Randomize
