one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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