Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
