what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
