She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
