I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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