I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
