wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
My dick has a subreddit
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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