It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
