i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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