Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
