Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
