the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
