How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
