I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
