you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Text me some of your sweat
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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