how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
