Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
