That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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