Betty ford says i'm here all night
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
