doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
