was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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