his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
