Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
he high fived his dick after we had sex
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
