He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Randomize
