Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
