It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
