We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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