just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
