First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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