Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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