I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
