My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
