So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
