that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
The struggles of a small town man whore
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
