Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
