Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
My pussy is not your playground.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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