She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
