thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
