We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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